Dear Loser: Congraduhlatitshuns! You’ve successfully managed to steal the holy grail of unsellable, worthless crap! If you scrape off all the sticker gunk, peek at all my porn before you wipe out the hard drive, and have the missing/broken keys replaced with bottle caps, you’ll probably have something worth a good 13 bucks. Oh, make sure you FIND A NEW BATTERY before you sell it! Ya’ skunk!
SO yeah. TOTALLY STOLEN VCU issued THINKPAD LAPTOP COMPUTER.
Visual description: Really dirty. Backing is literally covered in a bunch of STICKERS, including a CHIPPY from Tim and Eric Awesome Show. Threadless stickers from when I was 15.
4 MISSING and broken KEYS on they keyboard, “s” key, “h” key, and the up/down/left/right keys. “SHOCK THE MONKEY” was stuck with label tape on the BOTTOM LEFT of the keyboard console.
Police Report has been filed.
And you fail at robbing, hamburgle-er. Nice fail job trying to get my roomie’s bike out of our kitchen. Eat uh Deek.
- 2 Angry Artists