Dear lovely State Trooper,
I had the most lovely night last night, and I think I might have met my soul mate. You were wearing a sexy, sleek black riot uniform and when you looked longingly into my eyes I melted. When you maced me in the face it brought tears of joy to my eyes because I knew I had finally found love. When you pelted me with pepperballs I quivered with anticipation as I waited for you to ram me from behind once more with your nice hard shield. We should meet up again someday soon, I’m thinking a nice romantic riot on the lawn of the Governor’s mansion? Just you, me and 4,000 of my friends.